0:02 it's not what you say it's how you say
0:05 it the way you speak can either create
0:06 the impression that you're a Charming
0:10 gentleman or an uneducated Ruffian when
0:12 you think of famous gentlemen both in
0:15 the real world and fictional characters
0:18 they all share certain similarities with
0:20 their speech in today's video I'm going
0:22 to tell you what those qualities are and
0:25 how you can Implement them so let's
0:27 begin with number
0:30 one in a world where many people are
0:32 shouting for attention the gentleman
0:35 remains softspoken it's much more
0:36 elegant to keep your voice to a
0:39 reasonable volume it makes you always
0:41 sound calm and composed when you're
0:43 talking a gentleman does not get into
0:46 shouting matches or try and speak over
0:48 other people he instead allows the
0:50 quality of what he says to hold
0:52 attention now there is a difference
0:54 between being soft spoken and
0:57 gentlemanly and being timid and feminine
0:59 even when speaking softly allow your
1:02 voice to resonate and project fully and
1:04 deliver what you say with confidence and
1:06 Clarity which some of the upcoming tips
1:09 will help you with the gentleman speaks
1:11 boldly just not aggressively and he's
1:14 confident in what he has to say without
1:17 being arrogant or dismissive of others
1:19 another benefit of being soft spoken is
1:21 that people will find your voice
1:23 Pleasant and relaxing to listen to a
1:25 great example of this is Douglas Murray
1:27 I don't necessarily agree with
1:29 everything he has to say but his voice
1:32 makes for a very relaxing experience
1:34 anytime I listen to him on a podcast now
1:37 a gentleman very very rarely raises his
1:39 voice even in anger I can't say I've
1:42 never been guilty of this as we all have
1:44 but I always look back on those times as
1:46 my ugliest moments there's nothing
1:49 gentlemanly or even manly about losing
1:51 control of your emotions so keep your
1:53 voice in check whether you're feeling
1:57 hot or cold under the
1:59 surface different people have differing
2:02 opinions on whether or not a gentleman
2:04 can swear I recently watched a video by
2:07 Ash of the chaps guide in which he said
2:09 he thinks it's unnecessary to use
2:11 profanity and that it should be greatly
2:13 avoided although I have the greatest
2:15 respect for ash I don't necessarily
2:17 think it's true that a gentleman never
2:20 swears shocking I actually think
2:22 swearing can be a powerful tool of
2:25 emphasis camaraderie and humor however a
2:28 gentleman is aware of his profanity and
2:30 only uses it as a tool
2:32 when appropriate he does not F and Jeff
2:35 his way through every sentence and he's
2:36 aware of his audience and if they might
2:39 be offended by that but I think Steven
2:40 fry has some good thoughts on the
2:43 subject of swearing when he said people
2:45 who used to say swearing was a sign of
2:48 poor vocabulary such utter nonsense but
2:50 you'll notice that Mr Fry does not swear
2:53 very much himself he only really uses
2:55 those words to create a desired effect
2:57 if you use profanity wittingly and
2:59 sparingly you'll appear much more
3:02 intelligent and sophisticated than the
3:04 man who habitually swears in every
3:06 sentence so always know your audience
3:08 and don't make curse words a part of
3:09 your everyday [Music]
3:10 [Music]
3:13 speech a gentleman is well educated
3:16 whether traditionally or self-educated
3:18 and the way he speaks reflects his
3:20 learning it's important to construct
3:23 sentences with proper grammar when
3:25 speaking give your sentences a similar
3:27 level of structure to what they would
3:29 have if you were writing them down most
3:32 people speak in Long trailing rambling
3:34 Thoughts with no clear beginning middle
3:37 or end however a gentleman crafts his
3:40 sentences with poise creating a much
3:42 more engaging experience for his
3:44 listener this comes with self-awareness
3:46 and practice but I think it's useful to
3:49 slow yourself down to allow time to
3:51 think you can also speak in shorter
3:54 sentences as I often do on this channel
3:55 if you are really serious about
3:57 improving your speech I recommend you
3:59 start a podcast as a hobby as as you
4:01 listen back to the recordings you'll
4:03 notice things in your speech that you
4:05 want to change and improve and now
4:07 you'll have the awareness to work on
4:13 conversations I am not of the opinion
4:15 that a gentleman needs to have any
4:17 particular kind of accent I think you
4:19 should speak in the way that's natural
4:21 to you and the characteristics of your
4:23 Regional accent can be one of your
4:26 greatest charms for example think of a
4:29 southern gentleman or Sean Connor's
4:30 Scottish accent accent in the James Bond
4:33 movies however you must speak in a way
4:35 that can be understood by whomever
4:37 you're talking with some accents can be
4:39 so harsh that they are incomprehensible
4:41 to people from a different region I
4:44 think a gentleman is considerate of that
4:46 makes an effort to be understood this
4:48 might mean avoiding certain words and
4:50 phrases that are only part of his
4:53 Regional dialect if he's talking to
4:55 somebody from a different area even just
4:58 being a British person in the US some
5:00 words don't translate the the same way
5:02 and I've had to adapt same with the
5:04 pronunciation of certain words asking
5:06 for a glass of water in a noisy bar can
5:08 be a nightmare so if you have an accent
5:11 be mindful of this and be sure to speak
5:12 clearly when in conversation with
5:15 somebody from a different
5:18 place one of the greatest things that
5:19 distinguishes a gentleman from an
5:22 ordinary man in conversation is that he
5:24 is a great listener so many people
5:26 simply wait for the other person to
5:28 finish talking so they can have their
5:30 say but it's much more pleasant to have
5:33 a conversation there a two-way street to
5:35 show that you are listening be engaged
5:37 with your body language and make strong
5:40 eye contact give nonverbal forms of
5:43 feedback like nodding facial expressions
5:46 and vocalizations like mhm and ask
5:48 follow-up questions and make comments
5:49 about what they just said I remember
5:52 when Prince philli passed away in
5:54 2021 one of the things that he was most
5:57 remembered for was what a great listener
5:59 he was and how he always made others
6:01 feel appreciated and valued in the
6:03 conversation a gentleman actually
6:05 prefers to steer the topic of
6:08 conversation away from himself and onto
6:10 the other person he takes the opinion
6:12 that everyone has something interesting
6:15 to say and he is there to hear it so
6:17 next time you're in conversation don't
6:19 try and make it about you instead make
6:21 the other person the focus aim to
6:23 discover what they are passionate about
6:25 get them speaking candidly on the
6:28 subject and watch their eyes light up
6:29 thanks to your interest [Music]
6:31 [Music]
6:33 while it's Charming to show that you are
6:35 actively listening to the other person
6:37 it's absolutely necessary not to
6:40 interrupt think about times when you
6:41 have been interrupted in the middle of a
6:43 sentence perhaps it was in a business
6:45 meeting on a date or just in
6:47 conversation with friends it made you
6:49 feel like they didn't value what you had
6:52 to say or that they were bored by you so
6:54 whatever the reason it is that you feel
6:57 the urge to interrupt hold it patience
6:59 is a virtue that every gentleman should
7:02 have and it only takes a small amount of
7:04 patience to allow the other person to
7:06 finish before you ask them a follow-up
7:09 question or make your own
7:12 Point although a gentleman possesses a
7:14 wide vocabulary and a library of
7:16 knowledge inside his mind he doesn't
7:19 feel it's necessary to show off the
7:21 gentleman knows that using words in
7:23 conversation that others aren't familiar
7:26 with only makes him look foolish and
7:28 arrogant consider the audience and speak
7:30 in a way that can be understood OD by
7:31 everyone nobody cares if you are a
7:33 walking dictionary even many of the
7:36 greatest authors of the last 100 years
7:38 have written using simple language
7:40 instead rely on the quality of what you
7:43 say and how you interact with others to
7:45 reveal your intelligence what's more a
7:48 gentleman does not show off his vast
7:50 specialist knowledge on a particular
7:52 subject unless he is sure that his
7:54 listener is interested even then he
7:56 speaks using basic terms that everyone
7:58 can understand rather than trying to
8:00 impress them with a barrage of [Music]
8:02 [Music]
8:04 jargon gentlemen I hope you have enjoyed
8:06 today's video I think listening and
8:09 communication skills are two of the most
8:11 fascinating aspects of human life
8:13 navigating them with sophistication and
8:16 charm will go a long way in helping you
8:18 on your journey to become a gentleman
8:20 until tomorrow's video I highly
8:22 encourage you to check out the one that
8:24 I made on body language speech and Body
8:26 Language go hand inand so you'll
8:28 definitely want to apply those
8:30 principles to become a well-rounded
8:32 Communicator thank you for watching this
8:35 one and I'll see you in the next [Music]
